Do you suffer with me with the "not able to get over the WHAT IF moment" syndrome?

9:21 PM

Let me explain....

A couple weeks ago, I was in the church basement with Liv. I usually bring her in her car seat so she has something to sit in while we eat. I unlatch it and put the handle back so she can hang out in there unfastened. Well, I had been holding her, and was getting ready to take her somewhere else. I put her in her car seat, unfastened, and began to pick the car seat up. Lucky for me, my hand was in the right place, because as I was picking up the car seat, I realized the handle wasn't locked in, and she began to fall forward. My hand caught her face, which would have hit on the cement floor if I hadn't been there.

So, the anxiety I have as a mother, I relieve this moment daily...what if my hand wouldn't have been there? What if she would have done a face plant into the floor? Would she have permanent damage because of my mistake?

Just now, as I was hanging her in the Johnny Jumper from the doorway, I turned away and she began to jump. Something didn't sound right, so I turned to look, and sure enough....one of the fasteners was not on the door trim like it should have been. So, if I didn't see my mistake when I did, this jumper would have fallen on her, and she would have been hurt...ughhh....

This is the part of motherhood that I can't stand. I make mistakes that COULD have hurt them. I relive these moments in my head, and they don't leave....what ifs all the time.....please tell me I'm not alone, and you other mothers feel this way too...I need to get on some medication for this :)

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