middle of the night ramblings...

3:57 AM

Don't quite know why I'm up in the middle of the night tonight. Could be that Avery was kicking and waking me up. Or, it could be that Liv needed to be soothed back to sleep too....

So, here I sit at 4 in the morning, blogging...how sad! :)

The other night I had a thought....

When I was little, when I would wake up from a bad dream or if I was lonely, I would go into my parents room and cuddle up with my mom. Suddenly, I was fine. No more boogie-men, and off to sleep I went. I was comforted, I was safe, I was loved. There was no place else I could go that would make me feel safe like being next to mom and dad.

It just hit me the other day that now, I am that mommy. Avery begs every night to sleep with me. At first, it really got annoying to me. "Sleep in your own room honey" I would say. She would beg and plead, and eventually give in and go in her room. But, around 4 AM, here comes little Avery to cuddle up with mommy in bed. It has become a regular thing now a days. I probably should be the good consistent mommy and not let her sleep with me. But, then I remember what it was like when I was a little girl....

It just blows my mind that now I'm the mommy that gives Avery and Liv the comfort and security at night as my mom did to me. I am their "safe place" to land, and I am who they want to fall asleep next to. I have to admit, when all the books tell me that I am to have Avery sleep alone in her own room, my heart just welcomes her in as she cuddles up next to me. I love how she will put her pillow right snug next to mine, put her hand on my face and say "I love you mom".....ahhhh....doesn't get any better than that....

After a long day being mommy, and when all I want is to just sleep and start over tomorrow, it's amazing to me what that little hand on my face can do....

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