Saturday, March 3, 2007

Our Miracle

A friend of mine has a son that just had surgery the other day on his ears. It reminded me of what we went through when Avery had surgery as well... She was 5 days old, and I think it was the hardest thing PG and I have ever went through. To give birth to this perfect little girl, and then to have your heart break at hearing that she will have to have surgery. She was so little, and so helpless. And, the part that stunk the most...we couldn't do anything for her. She was hooked up to all these wires with lights shining on her, and we couldn't do a thing! I remember feeling like she was not my baby. It felt like she belonged to the doctors...after all, they were the ones making all the decisions. When it was time for me to be discharged, not being able to take Avery home with us...man...it was heart-wrenching...
I sometimes wonder if this is why I am the kind of mother that I am. I'm WAY TOO overprotective, I tend to shelter them, and I don't let them out of my sight. Do you think that if Avery would have been "normal, healthy" that I wouldn't be the crazy-anxiety-obsessed-mother that I am? Who knows.
When Liv was born, we were pleasantly surprised that she was totally healthy. It was very odd being able to have our baby with us in our hospital room, and not have to go down 2 floors, have a pass, do a 3 minute scrub, and put on a gown to see our child.
Every day, when the task of being a mother seems to never end, and get old...I have to remind myself of what I went through to have these girls. (What we went through to get Liv will be for another blog entry...)
Oh to be a mother...a lady on Oprah once said "Motherhood is about finding the rest of your life inside of you and giving it to someone else" Isn't that the truth...

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

What a beautiful blog - it brought tears of joy to my eyes as I read it and realize how much my little girl has grown up over the years. You are such a caring and compassionate mother to my two precious grand daughters. I have been blessed beyond words. Love you forever and back again. Mom

Kim said...

I agree with your mom, you are a wonderful mother, and you all are lucky to have eachother. Landen's surgery was so minor compared to Avery's I can't even imagine what you guys went through. All in all they are all doing well and we thank god each day for our beautiful children. You are the best! i really hope you guys get to come home to visit this summer

Theresa Marie said...

oh my gosh... I had no idea that you went through something so heart-breaking like this. I can't imagine. :( Avery is such a miracle... truly.

Jennifer said...

I can't imagine what that must have been like for you guys, Jennisa. I am sure that you are a better mother for it and I'm so glad Avery is okay now, and that Liv is healthy, too!

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