Friday, May 2, 2008

Why being a Pastor's wife is hard....

And, since this is MY blog, I can write some of these reasons out, without feeling awful. I will not feel bad that this is the way I feel, and I will not end the post with a soft and lovely sentiment. This is how I feel...period.....(really, this post isn't that bad at all....I sure made it sound like this was going to be a venting session, didn't I? gol, I'm so dramatic.... :))

  1. My husband is able to be reached for anything concerning the church, at all hours of the day. If there is any issue with the church, he is called. Whether is be a technical problem, a church member problem, or even if the air conditioner isn't working...he is called...we are a small church.
  2. Since my husband is the Pastor, if any un-foreseen events happen in the church body, it can abruptly cancel any trips that we would have planned.
  3. I am a single parent on Sunday mornings. My husband is gone by 8am. I have to get myself and the girls ready, which is not fun...at all! When at church, my husband can't be a father because he is "at work". Therefore, I have to watch the girls and be in charge of them every Sunday morning.
  4. I have to sit by myself (when I'm not doing nursery, that is)
  5. I have to listen to my husband speak for 30 minutes without being able to interrupt him.
  6. My husband is always thinking about church. He is always reading for either his own personal growth, or the next sermon. In all of his free time, he is consumed with what he needs to be doing to prepare for church.
  7. We can never just "quit" a job. There is the whole "calling" that has to be felt. My husband has to feel like he is being "called" to a new church before we would ever leave. So, when I tell my husband that I would LOVE to move closer to my parents...this can't just happen easily, and it has been a hard reality to accept. A lot of steps have to take place, and there is a "divine" intervention that needs to take place.
  8. He doesn't have the normal 8-5 job. He is gone most evenings, and him coming home "early" is if he comes home by 7 pm. This is one (of the many) reasons I don't cook. He is rarely home at a time where he can take the girls so I can even make something. The girls and I are basically on our own most days....

Ya know how when your husband is obsessed with something, how it gets so super annoying because it's all he talks about, and that the last thing you want to do is jump on board with him and enjoy it too? I felt like this years ago when the movie Gladiator came out. It was all PG could talk about. He got the CD, he was waiting for the DVD to come out, and he would just talk about it all-the-time. It got rather annoying, and it became this thing where I despised him even talking about it, because it was this annoying obsession....

dare I say that this is the way that I can tend to feel towards church sometimes? PG is so wrapped up in church, in theology, in meetings, in John Piper...it can feel like he is obsessed with "church". It consumes him, it takes up all of this free time, and church is what takes him away from his family. Now, by no means do I despise church...that would be a problem, wouldn't it? All I'm saying, is that as the wife of a pastor, it is something that I am daily struggling with. This is the biggest struggle right now, and I need to be honest with it....

Whew...I feel better....

Can I get an 'amen?

and, on a lighter note.....I am LOVING gummy worms right now!

7 comments:

McMommy said...

I truly feel for you! It sounds like you have to do ALOT of the parenting on your own....and that's tough..and tiring. And then you add on top of all that a hoppin' business of your own and whew! I'm tired for YOU! It sounds like you never get any time for yourself...and that has got to be frustrating.

I don't have any advice....just wanted to say I feel for you and am in awe of how you "do it all". Blogs provide such great venting relief, don't they?

Alex & Jill said...

Amen, sister! I've been a PK my entire life, so I know what it's like to have a Dad away a lot, due to his responsibilites at the church and to his congregation. I don't know how my Mom did it with 6kiddos. My husband and I just started a church along side my brother and his wife so it looks like I'm going to get a taste of what you're talking about! I've always been the PK never the PW...should be interesting. :)

Abbie said...

I've been reading your posts for a short while now, and just SO enjoy them!
PLEASE don't ever feel guilty about needing to be honest on YOUR OWN BLOG! All those feeling you just explained are SO understandable. I can totally see how it has affected you the way it has. Have you mentioned these things to your hubby? He may be more understanding about it than you think! Even though I don't know you, this post made me proud of you! :)

KMom said...

Can I just say "ditto" to ALL of that, including the gummy worm love? :)

Kristi said...

My hubby is also a pastor (although right now, he is the youth pastor, so he doesn't share ALL of the needing to be there for everything because he is the main/only pastor). BUT...I so know how the Sunday morning time can be SO hard. I have struggled with that much. Pat leaves at 8am as well and is at "work" when I get there with the three kids. Yes, I sit by myself and take care of the kids all by myself. I can be hard to not feel lonely in that sometimes...longing to just be together as a family for church.

Thanks for being real and sharing those struggles, Jennisa. I know that I don't know you (I did go to college with Mck Mama, which is how I got to your blog!), but know that I can relate...and know that I will pray for you right now...on a Sunday morning!!

And...yes, I love gummy worms as well!

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

I'm with you girl! Especially the Sunday morning thing. I'm in a lather by the time I arrive to church, barely able to find my worship!

I haven't commented in a while, but rest assured, I'm checking in on your new designs. Love them all!

Thanks for sharing your heart.

peace~elaine

Jessica said...

I'll give you an amen! Thanks for doing all you do, so your husband can serve the Lord.

It's hard--super hard--for guys to have boundaries in their work, and the sacrifices that pastor's families make--WELL. You are amazing.

Keep giving it to God.

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