Lately, as Avery is growing up, I find myself very sad. Every birthday that comes around, brings her one step closer to not being so little anymore. I once was a preschool teacher, and I never understood why parents were emotional leaving their children at school for 2 1/2 hours, 3 days a week. Now, after having kids of my own, I understand. Any normal parent would probably already have their 4 1/2 year old in some sort of preschool, or play group, or something...not me. I am the over-protective mother that doesn't want either of my girls out of my sight, unless they're with daddy. Part of it is that I don't want to share them...selfish I know. A lot of it is anxiety about how they are going to be taken care of, will they be given enough attention, will they miss me?, etc.

This summer, Avery will be turning 5. I tear up just writing that...seriously. Just talking about her going to preschool in the fall is emotional. I shed some tears with PG the other night while thinking about her playing on the playground at school, getting hurt, and me not running to her. No "playground aide" (sorry mom) is going to take care of her like I would. No teacher is going to kiss it better like mommy. No one at school is going to be able to hug and kiss her till she's okay like me. Such a large part of me wants to pause life right now, and not let her experience these things. I don't want her to fall down, or get her feelings hurt, or go through any of those icky things alone, without me. My husband, kindly, tells me that it's part of her growing up, and I have to let her experience these things without sheltering her. I know this, but knowing is easier than doing.

How I'm going to get through sharing my child with someone else is beyond me. Lucky for me, it's not until the fall. And, this next school year it WILL only be 2 1/2 hours a day, 3 days a week. And, I will only be a call away, right? I need to keep gearing up for this day, as hard as it will be...my baby is growing up...