Don't mean to brag, but I was right with my prediction...

she's now up on all 4's.

Are you SURE that you know? Is it “good” because school is called off? Because we all have to get to grandma’s house? Because we’re going to eat some “good” food this weekend? So we can frantically put together our Easter baskets?

Let me show you why today is called “Good Friday”…

It is “good” because Christ embraced His God-given mission - He embraced the cross. He willingly became sin so that in Him (through faith) we might become the righteousness of God. He willingly became the penalty for all our sins, so that, in faith, through faith, we can stand before God with the righteousness of Christ (imputed to us, and in place of our feeble attempts at righteousness). This is redemption - this is salvation.

Avery ~ "Look Mom...it's a trophy...Do you like reflections? I do! I LOVE trophies!"
Me ~ "And if you look from the side, it's angel wings"!
Avery ~ "Ohhh...good job Mommy!"

she was up on her feet and hands...

Olivia, who is 5 months 1 week, will be up on her hands and knees by Easter Sunday...if not sooner! I'll keep you posted...

Sue over at Living my Dream "tagged me". It's my first tag, and I don't know quite what to do, but here goes anyway...

Here's what Sue had to say about me...

"Jennisa is also a Mom to a food allergic child and I just found out we also share a journey of infertility in common. I love to read about her love and devotion to her daughters as well as the rest of her family."

(awww...so nice!)

So now I am supposed to list 5 blogs that make me think.

Noah Steven: Crowned in Peace. Here is an exceprt from his site: This blog is about a little boy named Noah who was in TCH Denver from 8/2/06 to January 12, 2007, waiting on God for a miracle. Miracles came in ways none of us on earth expected, but it turned out more beautiful than we could have imagined...You're never prepared to fall in love, so read on only if you can. Please spread this blog to anyone you know will pray, not for Noah's miracle, since that has come, but for a miracle to transform your very own heart...

When Avery was 2 months short of 1 (May of 2003), PG and I decided that she was the best thing ever and we wanted to try to have another child! We thought that it would be a cinch since Avery was conceived after stopping the pill for one month. Little did we know how much effort would go into having another child.

We tried for months and months and months...no luck. It is such an unbelievably hard thing to go through. Wanting a child so desperately, but month after month being let down...it was just heart wrenching. After 10 long months, it was time for my annual "check up". I talked to my OBGYN about what we were going through, and she recommended we try the drug CLOMID. It is a pill that you take on days 3-7 of your cycle, and it's purpose is to help you ovulate and produce multiple eggs. The down side was that it caused really bad cramps (you ain't kidding)!

When she wrote me the prescription, and when I went and filled it, I was on cloud nine! I thought for sure this would work for us! I was so sure that we would get pregnant the first month!

Didn't happen...That was more discouraging than the 10 months we tried on our own because I thought that with this medicine it would happen for sure. What a let down...

We tried this drug for 3 months with no luck (it was now June '04). At that time I resigned my preschool job, so we were without insurance. We took a break for a couple months to try on our own.

When October rolled around, we moved for PG's new job, and acquired new insurance. He promised me that when we got settled, we would try 3 more months of Clomid...

We did try, for 3 months...and it didn't work. My OBGYN then told me that there was nothing else she could do for us, and that we needed to be referred to a infertility specialist...wow.

PG and I made an appointment to meet with this doctor, just to see what he thought we should do. He told us that the next step would be Artificial Insemination or In Vitro. I never thought I would be in a room with a doctor telling me that those were the options I had.

We thanked him for his time (and paid him a ton of $), and left. Back home, not a lot of hope, and no money for these expensive procedures he recommended. It was very hard knowing that this doctor had a plan for us, and wanted to do what he could, but that we couldn't follow through with his treatment, because of the thousands of dollars it would cost that we didn't have.

Here is where GOD stepped in...

That summer, my friend Natalie called me. I could barely understand her words as she was so excited! She told me that a friend of hers had just called her and told her about an add in the paper for a "Infertility Study" that was going on through the hospital. So, Natalie gave me the number, and I called. Hundreds of women applied for this, and only 10 or so were able to qualify. In June '05 I got the call from "Nurse Tonya" who said that we qualified! YIPPIE! Thank you Jesus! I was the most excited and hopeful I had been in a long time.

I had all the preliminary tests done, and PG did too. We were in the clear! I had my first appointment where it all was explained to me. To make a long story short, I was in a double blinded study to see whether "clomid" or "repronex" worked in women with my condition. I was hooked up to a portable IV for 16 days (lots of fun) and was being given either clomid or repronex. I obviously was hoping for repronex, because we knew clomid didn't work for us.

I had numerous ultrasounds and tests done throughout those 16 days. They were also very detailed about how and when we were to try to conceive, but I won't go there...

Needless to say, at this time I was SURE that this would work! After all, how odd was it that of all the women that applied, I was one of the very few chosen! It had to work...I knew it!

It didn't work...kick in the gut like I'd never experienced before. Life stunk, I was so depressed, and all I wanted was a new baby.

The compensation from this study, was $800, and a free round of medicine if pregnancy was not achieved. So, there was still a glimmer of hope for us. We saved the $800, and PG said we had to wait till January to dive in again. After all, this was going to cost us close to $1400...$1400 that we didn't have.

January of '06 came around, and we made our appointment to the "fertility man" as I call him. I was set up with shots to give myself twice a day (repronex) and had to come back every 3 days for ultrasounds to check on my ovaries.

The shots were not painful, and I didn't get bad cramps this time. I didn't know what that meant, but oh well.

At one of my ultrasounds they had told me that I had 4 mature eggs that would be releasing that cycle, so YIPPIE! 4 eggs...amazing!

So, PG and I did what we were supposed to do, and then came the "2 week wait" as those of us mommies know what that is. I couldn't wait the full 2 weeks to take the test, so on February 20th, 2006, I took a test in the bathroom. PG and Avery were home too, but I didn't tell them. When there was a faint line, I didn't know what to think. After all, close to 3 years and 32 months of getting negative results, when a positive comes up, you just don't believe it.

I had bought a little shirt for Avery that said "I'm the BIG Sister". It was in the back of our closet being saved for that special day. Well, today was that day. I put her in this shirt and gave her the test. I said, "Go give this to daddy". So, I followed her out into the living room and watched her give Daddy the test. He didn't notice her shirt (of course), and when she gave him the test he said "what's this?" (it wasn't a normal looking test) I said "Do you see a faint line?" And he did...a little. Guys are always cautiously optimistic, so he wasn't getting all excited yet.

I called my "fertility man" and talked to his nurse, and she said to go out and buy some more tests. I did, and each one had a faint line. WOW WOW WOW! All of our families knew that this week was when we were going to take the test, so when we called them, they knew what it was about. They all had been waiting these 3 long years with us as well, so needless to say, it was a good day.

The one unknown was how many babies were growing in there. I had 4 eggs that were mature enough to release, so for weeks we were trying to imagine life with 4 new babies, or 3, or even 2. On March 10th 2006 we had our ultrasound that showed us that there was ONE baby growing in there. WHEW

I have to say that this was one of the most challenging events in my life...my short 27 years of life. God blessed us with our healthy baby Liv, and we are grateful for this gift given to us. So when I talk about my children like they are the most special adorable kids in the the whole world, you now know what we went through to get them

Will there be more children in our sweet little family? We'd sure like there to be, but not for a little while. After all, we're still paying for our last little blessing...

A couple weeks ago, I was in the church basement with Liv. I usually bring her in her car seat so she has something to sit in while we eat. I unlatch it and put the handle back so she can hang out in there unfastened. Well, I had been holding her, and was getting ready to take her somewhere else. I put her in her car seat, unfastened, and began to pick the car seat up. Lucky for me, my hand was in the right place, because as I was picking up the car seat, I realized the handle wasn't locked in, and she began to fall forward. My hand caught her face, which would have hit on the cement floor if I hadn't been there.

So, the anxiety I have as a mother, I relieve this moment daily...what if my hand wouldn't have been there? What if she would have done a face plant into the floor? Would she have permanent damage because of my mistake?

Just now, as I was hanging her in the Johnny Jumper from the doorway, I turned away and she began to jump. Something didn't sound right, so I turned to look, and sure enough....one of the fasteners was not on the door trim like it should have been. So, if I didn't see my mistake when I did, this jumper would have fallen on her, and she would have been hurt...ughhh....

This is the part of motherhood that I can't stand. I make mistakes that COULD have hurt them. I relive these moments in my head, and they don't leave....what ifs all the time.....please tell me I'm not alone, and you other mothers feel this way too...I need to get on some medication for this :)

Yes, it's April, and yes...our neighbors STILL have their Christmas Tree up!

PG and I were having a conversation tonight, and the topic of eye color came up. Would you believe that without looking at the girls, he didn't know what their eye color was? Does that prove the point that my husband doesn't seem to be home that much? Good grief.

I posted before how my Grandma was diagnosed about 6 years ago with Alzheimer's. Before the diagnosis, Grandma was an integral part of my growing up. Both she and my Grandpa lived the majority of my life down the block from my house, making them not only grandparents, but also my second parents. They were very influential in my life. My Grandpa passed away shortly after Grandma's diagnosis back in 2001, and some of us say that Alzheimer's was a 'blessing' for her in her dealing with his death and her new life she would have to lead. She was able to live on her own, in her house for about a year after he passed. Since then, she has been in I think 3-4 other places...I lost count. She is no longer able to care for herself at all...

Alzheimer's sucks people...it really does. My grandma, who used to live down the street from me and saw me daily during my growing up years, doesn't know my name (I don't think). I haven't heard her say "Jennisa" for at least 4-5 years. It doesn't mean she doesn't know who I am, she just doesn't call me by my name.

I wish I could describe what it's like to visit her every 6 months or so, and see a different grandma each time. (I can only imagine what my mother goes through every day!) This last time I was surprised at how much she had changed. I hadn't seen her since last June, and it had been a very rough year for her. She had been in and out of a couple different places that ended up not working for her. Now, she is in an Alzheimer's facility with about 12 other people that suffer from the same issues she has. She's probably about 130 lbs, if that, and when I hugged her, she seemed really weak. Her hair was also not combed, so she really didn't look like Grandma...

But, the part that REALLY sucks...these other people that live there are like in their 80's! They are old and frail. But my vibrant, energetic, hyper at times Grandma got this awful disease when she was in her early 70's. And, although her Alzheimer's is one of the worst of the people that live there, she is probably the youngest and most vital. It really is heartbreaking to see this happen to her. She has SO much life left in her, but unfortunatley doesn't know how to live her life anymore.

This last time when I visited her, I walked into this building, which has a touch pad code to get in. I walked in to this living room like thing, where 6-8 OLD people were sitting watching some "old time" music, from back in the day...I think it was Lawrence Welk. They were humming these tunes like they always have for their whole lives. My grandma can actually remember some of these songs. She was singing them (sort of) when I was there. So, she can sing these old time songs, but can't say my name? Or remember what she ate 10 minutes ago? What is this disease, and why my Grandma?

So, needless to say, I don't really know my Grandma anymore, and vice versa. When I talk to her, I have to speak to her like I do Avery. So doesn't even speak in sentences like Avery, or remember the names of objects like my 4 1/2 year old can! My parents tell me that she does "school" at her home, and she is no longer able to put similar items together as a match...ho hum...

Well, regardless of whether or not she knows my name, who I am, or what she means to me, she is my precious, sweet Grandma Vicki...

This weeks theme: water

Liv enjoys her bath at 3 months old

I am having a blog lady come in and re do my site here in the next week or two (haven't told PG about that yet...he he he...I guess you know now, don't ya!). I like it the way it is, but would really like a "custom" site, one that is more me!

So, I might also change the name of my site name too. I am looking for new ideas, so if ANYTHING pops into your head in the coming days, please comment me!

Here are some new ideas I have
The Princess and the Sweet Pea
Punkin' Patch

Cute as a Button

Buttons-n-Bows

2 Sweet Sisters

Girlies Galore

Little Darlings

Cutie Patooties

Giggle Bugs

The Princess Diaries (My mom's idea)
...???...
HELP!!!

We came home tonight with this find...

Bella dancerella Home Ballet Studio with sing along dance DVD
Avery then spent the rest of the night learning her own version of ballet with the instructional DVD... Mommy laughed a lot, and Livvie just watched her big sister

Typical...once I convince my 4 1/2 year old to take a nap because her sister is sleeping and mommy wants some shut eye too, and she falls asleep...her sister wakes up, so therefore, mommy gets no shut eye...

But, what I did get to see...my beautiful big eyed girl gaze out the window into the 'outside world' she has yet to explore...