Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Surprise pregnancy, and surprise loss, all in one week....

I had begun journaling this pregnancy right away. It was never a thought of mine that it would begin and end within 5 days of each other. But, this baby deserves to be documented in our family journal, so here is what I have written.....


SURPRISE PREGNANCY

I began feeling a bit "chesty" and having to use the bathroom a lot for a couple weeks. I decided to secretly get one of those super cheapo tests at the dollar tree. I took the test Thursday evening, and it was negative. So, I just was waiting for my cycle to come, and was assuming that this was just going to be one doozy of a good one. Each day went by, and no cycle came. My chest became more and more sore, and I decided to just buy an actual real test at Walmart. So, Wednesday the 22nd, I took a test around 5 pm. As I swirled the test around in the "sample", I just said "okay God...this is all you...do what you do". 3 minutes later, I was looking at a positive.

I started getting shaky and my heart was beating out of my chest. Daddy was at work, Avery was in bed sleeping because she was sick, and Liv was playing playstation. I had to call someone, so I shut the door to the girls' room and called my mom. I think I said "what in the world?" "Are we REALLY talking about this?" a million times.

I was able to get a hold of daddy on gmail chat, and told him that I was coming down with influenza like Avery had, and begged him to come home. He said he found someone to cover for him, and was on his way home. This was a little after 6 pm. A whole hour of me knowing and not telling him...it was killing me!

I wrapped up the test in a little gift bag, and put it on his desk downstairs. When he walked in, I told him "I got you something funny at Walmart...come and see" So we walked downstairs, and I stood behind him as he unwrapped the gift. He looked at me and said, "What is this, and glanced at the test, and looked at me and said "shut up...is this for real?" Um, yup....for real. To say that he was shocked is an understatement. He said he didn't want to tell the girls, yet....

We went upstairs and were living in shock looking at one another. After 5 minutes, Daddy looked at me and said "so, you want to tell them?", and I said YES of course!

So, we called them both out in the living room, and I told them that I have a baby growing in my tummy. Olivia started to scream and cry, and Avery just looked mad, and went back to my room and was quiet as a mouse. It took Olivia at least 15 minutes to calm down. She said that she didn't want a baby because 1. she didn't want to have to drive to the hospital (she has been having some car sick problems lately), and 2.she didn't want Winnie to chew the baby. Avery stayed very quiet, and has just given us a big thumbs down when we talked about it.

Our families were all thrilled and surprised, and that has helped a lot. Our friends have also had a fun chuckle with us, too. While this is in no way planned, we are slowly getting used to the idea of another baby, and are looking forward to it! :)

SURPRISE LOSS

We shared the news publicly on Sunday. 5 am on monday morning i was woken up by really really bad cramping. I went to the bathroom and saw blood. I went out to the kitchen to warm up a heating pad, and my body went into some sort of numb/cold sensation, with extreme dizziness. I had to hold on to the counter to keep from falling over. I woke up my husband, and then ended up vomiting. I layed on couch with a hot pad on my tummy for an hour, and fell asleep. I woke up at 8 with no cramping, but still bleeding. I ended up calling the clinic, and was told to come in as soon as i could. I had an exam done, and bloodwork, and was sent over later in the day for an ultrasound. At the ultrasound was when they saw that there was nothing there. A couple hours later we received the news from my bloodwork, and it was evident that i had suffered a miscarriage.

lots of tears, and many thoughts are going on in my head. i feel guilty being so flippant about this pregnancy, and not really believing it, because as soon as i realized it was threatened, is when i wanted it even more.

we will be fine. as my husband said, God is still on His throne, unchanged, as is our faith in Him.

it's hard to wonder why, though. Why would God choose, after all of these years and with me not being able to have kids any more (or so i thought), and then take it right away? why is there 2 miscarriages in our family within a week of each other?

life is not meant to be easy, and this is not easy. painful, emotional, anger...lots of emotions and feelings going on. I don't want to see anyone or talk to anyone for fear of crying. my mom got in the car and drove here as soon as she heard, so she is taking care of me and the girls (winnie, too).

Thankful for my faith, my family, my girls, my hubby....makes getting through each day bearable...

Monday, February 27, 2012

spoke too soon....

we lost our little baby this morning....

"The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised."

Monday, February 20, 2012

Day off of school!

The girls have off today, and to celebrate, we are watching huge snowflakes come down from the sky, and our house roar with the sound of wind. Fun times!

Our friend Rachel was in town over the weekend to see the birth of her nephew!
We were so excited to see her today!


And, this picture is Liv in so many ways...sassy, spunky, silly...she's all of them!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Valentine's Day

Our day started of just peachy, with having to take little Ms Olivia over to her dentist for pictures, x-rays, and impressions.

We first got there, and the first thing that they wanted to do was take an x-ray, which required her to take out her earrings. Those who know Olivia know that she hates to take out her earrings. So, needless to say, we were off to a rough start. I kindly asked if we could do the molds first instead.

Onto the molds. I had warned the hygenist weeks ago that Liv was not going to be an easy one. She proved me right! She cried and cried! But, with some promising of a trip to Walmart, she eventually cooled down.

On to the x-rays....by this time, taking her earrings out wasn't as huge of a deal (thank you Jesus), so we had some x ray fun! According to our dentist, in all the years that he has been fixing teeth, Olivia's mouth/teeth are in the worst 10%. She needs SO much more space, and it's just a mess in there. Take a look for yourself...


Next, more pictures! She got to wear this weird thing in her mouth! ;)


and, Olivia when it was ALL OVER!


We picked up Avery for lunch, and here are my 2 little girls on this Valentine's day!



I helped at Avery's school today for her Valentine's day party, so that was fun!

Then, tonight we all went out for supper, just the 4 of us! Fun times for us!

Sunday, February 12, 2012

2 weeks in one post

We have been sick, sick, sick here! I think 3 different sicknesses have went through our house, and currently the last one is only with mommy....YUCK!

We all did a lot of computer programs....

and lots of meds and nebulizer treatments!

in Winnie news....she has a growing affection for Daddy. She likes to lay by his feel wherever he goes :) And, yes, that is Daddy's lumberjack pants :)


My brother Josh recently moved to the same town his lady friend lives in. He is now much closer to all us family!


The weather last week was kind of nice, and Winnie enjoyed spending a lot of time outside.


On Thursday, my brother PROPOSED to ELLIE! :) She is a 6th grade teacher, and the principal of her school called a fake assembly for her grade. It was so cute! ;)


Here's the ring! Josh did a nice job! :)


Nana Dianne and Bapa Craig came to visit! We had lots of out to eats and fun times! Today, Nana and Bapa took the girls, and all 3 dogs to a park and let them run off some energy!


isn't this the craziest picture! check out Sophie's face! ha ha ha!


This is the only picture I have of the Valentine's outfits I made for the girls. I'm going to try to get another picture later! This pic is also how I feel after doing all our valentines this year!

Here are all of the FOUR sets of valentines we decided to do this year! Gotta love ideas from Pinterest

for the boys! :)


Here's Avery modeling a ring that she made out of kisses! :) FUN!


Wednesday, February 1, 2012

sick

January and February always seem to bring about the sick germs in our house.

This year is no exception.

We have had 2 different kinds of colds come through in the last 3 weeks. Olivia and I have received both of them, Daddy got the first, and Avery has the second.

The girls and I have been inside our house since Friday. We have only left for food and homework.

I am surrounded by coughing at all hours of the day, blankets and pillows everywhere, craby girls, baths, and snot.

Hopefully Avery will be well enough to go back to school tomorrow...

Oh, and Daddy has been out of town, and comes home tonight. So, I've been single parenting since Monday.

lovely, lovely winter...

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