the tears come less frequent and the pain is less as well...

not an hour goes by that i don't remember what has transpired...will i ever be the same?

tonight Olivia said to me that she didn't want to go to Heaven because she would miss her family. She then stopped herself and said "but, the baby is in Heaven, isn't it?" ...she then went on to talk about hoping that there is also Hawaiian punch to drink, too :) moments like that bring the tears on, and I realize that there will always be a piece of us not here...

i keep wondering what God is doing, or trying to teach me in this... getting pregnant after believing for over 9 years that we could only become pregnant with medical intervention....maybe i am to learn to fully trust Him and believe that He and only He can do miraculous things....

still learning, growing, and grieving...