i don't really use this blog much for journaling. it's basically about the girls, what we do, so i don't forget, and so our family can keep up with us.

but, tonight it's about me. what i'm feeling, what's going on in my life.


my adorable, wonderful, Godly, amazing grandma is coming down with pneumonia. there was a chest x-ray done, and she has a spot on her lung.

grandma is in her final stages of Alzheimer's and has a living will where no measures are taken except to keep her comfortable and pain free. this means no medicine to fight any illnesses.

most Alzheimer's patients die from other stuff, such as pneumonia.

i remember thinking a year ago or so, "ya know, it probably won't be that difficult when grandma does pass away. i mean, she hasn't really been grandma for at least 4-5 years. i only see her once or twice a year. i bet it won't really affect me like when grandpa died."

well, not true. it sucks. Alzheimer's sucks. what this disease has done to her sucks. her not knowing my name or who i am anymore sucks, and if she could see herself where she is now, she would want to pass on too. she's a shell. Alzheimer's has robbed her of her mind and body, and she spends her days in her wheelchair doing nothing but sitting and being fed, moaning a few sounds and being changed. her life, the way it is right now, sucks. but her dying sucks too.

i feel so selfish for wanting her to fight this pneumonia. why should she? Heaven is awaiting her. what a glorious reward that will be for her. but, i don't feel ready. do you ever feel ready? i doubt it. very selfish of me. death is so final, and i just don't want to deal with the emotions of it all, and how it will affect the whole family. it sucks.

i don't want my mom to hurt anymore than she has had to these past 10+ years since grandma has been diagnosed. i don't want to watch her bury her mother that she has loved and cared for all these years. grandma is the only family member that she has right now. my brother said it best in an email to my parents (hope he doesn't mind i share)

i have been a proud son watching you two take care of your parents. you have been, and are, great examples of two common godly people...
common give you access to just about everyone....
godly makes you anything but common to affect just about everyone...
the way the nurses and caretakers talk about you, and some of the retired folks up in *****... it seems that gma and gpa prepared you two for a life to also bring glory to God... and perhaps one of her best ministries in life was preparing you and then unknowingly inviting you to encourage, affect and provide a real christian example of loving children taking care of their elderly parent..... and in doing so... many lives have been touched....

if my grandfather was still around, he would be nothing short of amazed at how beautifully my parents have cared for grandma. they have went over and above what anyone else in their family has done. my father promised my grandpa before he passed on that grandma would be taken care of to the best of their ability, and they have kept their promise to him. what an example they have been to all those around them. i hope that if i am ever in the same situation, that i can do what they have done.

i want the people who are caring for her to know her...the real her. do they see her just as some old woman who they have to change and bathe? i want them to know how crazy and funny she was. how she loved and cared for everyone she knew. they don't know about the countless times she made a bed for me on the couch. or the fun tea parties she and i would have. or the cake she helped me make for my mom's birthday. or the black licorice that she used to love to eat. they don't know about her sunbuckles or her lefse... they just don't know her, and how incredibly special she is.

so, that is my prayer tonight. that if these are her final days, weeks, that the people surrounding her, and caring for her are showing her love. i pray that she is surrounded by nurses and doctors who are going above and beyond, because ya know what, she deserves it. i pray that Jesus is whispering in her ear, telling her either to fight because her work here is not finished, or that her home has been prepared. oh how i want her to be free of this life and what it has done to her, but i just wish we all could go with...

the end.

Neither of our girls will be dating anytime in the near future, but I sure thought these rules were too funny not to keep for when some punk boy comes a knockin...

Rule One:

If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:

You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:

I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:

I’m sure you’ve been told that in today’s world, sex without utilizing a “Barrier method” of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:

It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: “early”

Rule Six:

I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:

As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is getting ready, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don’t you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:

The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden tool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to introduce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:

Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house.

Rule Ten:

Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveways you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car – there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

Our family hit the road on Friday afternoon and drove all of the way to Rochester, MN. Rochester holds a special place in our hearts, as it is where hubby and I went to college, met, fell in love, got engaged, married, and began our lives together.

Friday night, Nana Dianne and Bapa Craig met up with us, and Bapa took the girls to Culver's and Walmart, and Nana, hubby and I went to Noodles to eat (oh man...super yum) and Hobby Lobby. A fun night, except that Liv was almost hit by a car. Thank the Lord Daddy grabbed her when he did. Not fun, not fun at all....

Nana Dianne was kind enough to get a massive hotel suite for our family to stay in, and right away the girls wanted to swim!!! Uncle Josh and Aunt Kathryn drove all of the way up to Rochester from Indiana (11 hours).

Livie blue-eyes swimming in the hotel pool!


Uncle Josh is super crazy and fun, and the girls love to be around him!


Saturday afternoon, hubby and I and Josh and Kathryn went to the wedding of our college friend Matthew. It was at a golf resort, and the ceremony was on the practice green. It was so pretty, and a tad bit chilly too!


The reception was inside, and was very beautiful as well. We had the best time, and laughed so hard all evening with some of our old college friends about old times.

Uncle Josh (Drew Carey) and Aunt Kathryn...


Warren and Kara


Josh and Chris


Stacey and Janny


Greg, Joanie, and Kirsten


Matthew and Katy...


our table had a blast watching this couple the whole night. Yes, he is helping her stand (and himself too). Let's just say that there was an open bar all night long...for free, and this couple took full advantage...


I thought this guy looked just like Tim Gunn from Project Runway..."Make it work!"


And this guy off to the left, who by the way is a super good dancer, had a hair cut similar to Kate Gosslein/Christian from Project Runway. He was super "Fierce!" (and that couple again!:))


we stayed at the reception till pretty late, and then back to our hotel room! Thanks to Nana Dianne for watching the girls while the rest of us went to the wedding and reception!

Sunday morning we all woke up and had a pillow fight..well, the girls and Uncle Josh did!


Before we knew it, it was time to pack up, check out, and say our goodbyes...


we had such a fun time in Rochester with Mommy's family!

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Other random stuff...

Here is Olivia with her speech teacher Rachel....taken before the haircut! :) Rachel is uber awesome, and we love her to pieces!


and, here is Ms. Avery's school picture from this year!


and, I decorated a tad bit for fall over the past week or so! Here's a peek!






Happy Fall Y'All!

We went to the brand new Children's Museum today, and were wowed over and over! I kept saying, "this is ridiculous!" So proud to have such a great place in our town for children to go to! We're looking forward to going during the winter months to blow off some steam! Enjoy your look around our Museum!